Learning from Personal Caregiving Experiences
Baby Jocelyn Combs methodically organized her filing box containing her will and trust documents. She designated power of attorney, informed friends and family about password locations, and started downsizing her possessions, keeping only meaningful mementos for her daughter.
The 76-year-old Pleasanton, California resident also built an accessory dwelling unit on her property. This strategic addition could house a future caregiver or serve as rental income if she moves into the smaller unit herself.
Drawing from Hard-Won Wisdom
Combs’ comprehensive aging plan stems from the overwhelming experience of caring for her own parents, both of whom lived into their 90s. Years later, she still sorts through boxes of their belongings, a task she’s determined her only child won’t face.
“It was brutal. The emotional toll, the financial toll, all of it,” Combs explained. “I’m trying to set myself up to be less of a burden to my daughter.”
The Rising Tide of Elder Care Planning
Baby boomers and Generation X are increasingly decluttering homes, organizing paperwork, and creating comprehensive end-of-life plans. This growing trend reflects a fundamental shift in how Americans approach aging, according to older adults, elder law attorneys, and financial planners.
Statistics Reveal Growing Awareness
National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP surveys show 47 percent of family caregivers—primarily caring for aging parents or adults with disabilities—had formal arrangements in 2024, up from 42 percent a decade ago. Approximately half of these caregivers report financial hardships, including lost income and depleted savings.
“We’re seeing a huge spike in elder care planning,” said Gabriel Shahin, chief executive of Falcon Wealth Planning. “Ten years ago these conversations only happened after a crisis, now they’re happening proactively.”
Adult Children Driving the Conversation
The shift toward proactive planning is largely driven by adult children who have witnessed or experienced the challenges of caring for aging relatives. These younger generations are encouraging their parents to plan ahead, breaking down traditional barriers around discussing mortality and decline.
Demographic Shifts Driving the Crisis
More Americans will shoulder caregiving duties as baby boomers—those born between 1946 and 1964—age and lifespans increase. The numbers paint a stark picture of the coming demographic transformation.
Projected Population Changes
Americans aged 65 and older are projected to increase more than 30 percent by 2050. These older adults will comprise 1 in 4 Americans by then, compared with approximately 1 in 10 in the 1980s.
Professional Caregiver Shortages
These demographic changes are compounded by critical shortages of professional caregivers—typically aides or nurses who provide household or medical assistance that might otherwise fall to family members. The family caregiver population has increased 45 percent since 2014, according to surveys conducted by the caregiving alliance and AARP.
Approximately one-third of family caregivers have provided care for five years or more, demonstrating the long-term nature of these commitments.
Financial Burdens of Long-Term Care
The economic reality of aging care presents staggering challenges. The median out-of-pocket cost for a private nursing home room reached $10,650 monthly in 2024, while assisted-living facilities cost $5,900 per month, according to insurer Genworth.
“Not only is caregiving becoming more prevalent and more stressful, it’s also lasting longer,” said Jason Resendez, president of the National Alliance for Caregiving. “This is not a looming crisis. This is something that people are living through right now every day.”
Proactive Steps Boomers Are Taking
Many individuals report that caregiving experiences have spurred decisive action to prevent similar burdens on their own children.
Insurance and Open Communication
Connecticut resident Pam Ferraro and her husband purchased long-term care insurance and deliberately broached traditionally taboo topics of dying and cognitive decline with their children.
“Feel free to call me out,” she told her adult children. “You know, ‘Mom, guess what. Your driving days are over.'”
Estate Organization and Downsizing
Joan Savitt’s experience clearing her mother’s Cleveland home—spending months flying between Boston and Cleveland, creating a 39-page Google document for family item selection, and spending six months sorting finances—shaped her own plans.
Savitt intends to downsize if she outlives her husband: “I would have an estate sale, and then I would move out of this house pretty quickly.”
The Emotional Toll on Family Caregivers
Caregiving responsibilities typically fall on one family member—often a daughter or the person living closest to the aging adult. This concentration of responsibility creates multiple stressors.
Health Consequences
Savitt believes caregiving pressure affected her health. She developed a cotton-wool spot on her eye, which her doctor attributed to blood pressure spikes from stress. Her experience taught valuable lessons about setting boundaries.
Family Dynamics and Resentment
The unequal distribution of caregiving can strain sibling relationships and stir feelings of resentment and guilt in the primary caregiver who pauses their own life for their parents, according to Resendez.
Savitt’s advice to others: Don’t be a martyr. “If I had realized that this is a matter of my health and my sanity, that might have overridden the desire to get along with everyone.”
Breaking the Cycle of Burden
After Colleen Gleason’s parents died, she took immediate action. She met with an elder law attorney, filed a living will with local hospitals, informed her son and a friend about cremation wishes, and took steps to keep her estate from probate court.
Rejecting the Pattern
Gleason spent her parents’ final years making five-hour drives between Virginia and Philadelphia, managing medications, arranging meal deliveries, and responding to medical crises. The constant question haunted her: “How am I going to do this?”
While her son assured her he’d provide care, Gleason refuses to repeat the pattern. Though she doesn’t blame her parents, she’s determined to forge a different path.
“I said, ‘I don’t want to put that on you,'” she recalled. “My parents put that on me.”
This generational shift represents more than individual planning—it signals a fundamental reimagining of aging in America, where independence and dignity extend through life’s final chapters without transferring overwhelming burdens to the next generation.
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